The Wanderer's Map

He Lost His Right to Vote Over $5.44. Then He Rebuilt Everything.

Amanda Powers — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 22:26:29 GMT

I genuinely cannot stop thinking about my conversation with Tavarus Taylor, and I have been trying to figure out how to write this post for days because nothing I type feels like it does the episode justice.

Tavarus is the kind of person you don't come across very often — someone who has been handed genuinely hard circumstances at every single turn and somehow managed to turn each one into a doorway instead of a dead end. There is nothing performative about his resilience. He is not selling you a mindset shift or a five-step framework. He is just a real person who got knocked down by a bad school counselor, a broken legal system, and a corporate world that discarded him the moment he became inconvenient — and then quietly built something extraordinary anyway.

But I know deep down the real reason most of you will want to listen is to hear more about his drag persona, Vivica Steele.

Because the moment Tavarus talks about what she gave him — the permission to stop just surviving and actually live — it reframes something most of us have been doing our whole lives without realizing it. So many of us are performing a version of ourselves that was built for someone else’s comfort. Vivica is what happens when you finally stop doing that. And hearing him describe that process is one of the most useful and human things I’ve heard anyone say about identity work in a long time.

And then there’s the way I asked him to close the episode… with a prayer that he wrote for our 2025 Friendsgiving celebration. And it will absolutely get you — not because it’s sad, but because it’s so full of genuine gratitude and love for the people around him that you’ll find yourself wishing you had someone like Tavarus Taylor in your corner too.

He’s just a really, really good human. And my show is better for having had him on it.

If this episode hit home, there's more where that came from. The Wanderer's Map lands in your inbox every week — new episodes, honest reflections, and the stuff I can't fit into a caption. Free to read. Easy to unsubscribe. Hard to regret.

Here’s What You Need to Know About Tavarus

Tavarus Taylor is one of my actual, real-life friends. He was the very first person who ever interviewed me live — he brought me on his radio show, The Queen’s Table on ACME Radio Live — back when The Lost & Found first turn two! He just… believed in it. Believed in me. And that is not a thing I forget easily.

So when I finally got to flip the tables and put him in the guest chair, I was already emotional before we even started recording. Because here is this person who has seen me at the beginning of something, and now I get to tell his story to the people who have been with me through all of it. That felt like a gift.

For those of you who do not know him: Tavarus is the CEO of TNT Commercial Services 615 (a commercial cleaning company he built from nothing after getting laid off), the host of The Queen’s Table, and the one and only Vivica Steele — a Nashville-based drag queen, known as The Queen of Hearts and Breaker of All Chains, and quite possibly the most graceful person I have ever watched perform in heels. He does it all and he makes it look easy even though I now know for a fact that it was not!

The Things He Has Been Through

For those of you who have seen Vivica perform — you might think she and Tavarus were born perfect and completely confident out of the womb, but you’d be mistaken.

Ever since he was a young child, Tavarus knew he was different. His parents didn’t directly abuse him, but he always felt like “the black sheep” of the family. More like an outsider looking in than an accepted or loved member. He definitely did not have the opportunity to explore or understand his sexuality, and being a young black man in the South during the '80s and '90s — that would have been blasphemous. In high school, Tavarus’ guidance counselor told him he was not college material. And luckily for him, he did not let one doubter keep him from reaching his full-potential. He eventually went to community college and graduated from MTSU anyway.

With his new found independence, Tavarus was flying high. But his lack of a social support system from childhood left him ill-prepared for post-graduate life, personally and financially. Not long after college, he lost his constitutional right to vote because he accidentally wrote a $5.44 bounced check that turned into a felony charge.

That story still makes my blood boil when I think about it. He spent years fighting through an expensive and lengthy legal process just to get back a right that should never have been taken from him in the first place. In the meantime, he started working in sales and did very well in the corporate sphere. But eventually, Tavarus’ curiosity (and likely his ethics) got the best of him, and he was laid off from a corporate job during the holidays right after he started asking questions about financial stuff that did not add up — which, honestly, says more about that company than it ever could about him.

Every single one of those moments could have been the thing that broke him. Not one of them was.

And I think about that a lot in relation to my own story. Because I have had moments where I genuinely did not know if I had what it took to keep going. And if I am being honest, I still have those moments. A lot.

What Tavarus showed me is that resilience does not mean you are never afraid. It looks like being afraid and doing the thing anyway, and then doing it again, and then again, until you stop being able to tell the difference between who you were and who you were always supposed to become.

Through Vivica, Tavarus Gets Everything He Wanted

I asked Tavarus what Vivica Steele meant to him. Not as a performer, but as a person.

And he said:

“I was so busy surviving. Where Vivica gets to live…She is the innocence that Tavarus never got to have.”

At this point in the interview, Tavarus and I are doing everything we can not to cry. It’s clear how emotionally powerful this moment was for him, and for me, as his friend, it cracked open a part of me that I didn’t think I was going to access that day.

Because here is the thing. I understand that sentence in my bones.

The version of me that spent a decade in national security, grinding through a career that looked impressive and felt increasingly wrong, was surviving. She was doing what she thought she was supposed to do, being who she thought she was supposed to be, and quietly falling apart underneath all of it. Maybe my childhood dream of being a superhero lead me down that path. Maybe ego who fed off others’ praise lead me down that path. Who knows.

But that version of me who hit record in October 2023 and started talking to strangers out of desperation about her identity crisis on the internet? She gets to live. She was terrified and disorganized in the beginning (and sometimes still is). And sometimes records episodes in her closet because the acoustics are better… but she has never been more herself in her entire life.

I did not expect to find that mirror in a conversation about drag. But here we are.

Life Changing Advice From a Drag Queen

At the end of every interview, I ask my guests what advice they have for someone who feels lost and does not know where to start. Tavarus did not hesitate:

“Start with yourself. There is no book, there is no podcast, there is no sermon. You start with yourself. Sit with yourself in silence and see what that does. Some of my most transformative moments have come from just that.”

I heard that and immediately thought of every time I have reached for my phone, or put on a show, or opened Instagram, specifically to avoid being alone with my own thoughts. Which I am sure for many of us is, embarrassingly, quite often.

He also closed the episode by reading a prayer he wrote for our 2025 Friendsgiving celebration. I asked him to do it because I had been thinking about it for literally six months. I am not going to put it in this post because you need to hear him say it. But I will tell you that it nearly made me cry for the second time that day.

You have been warned.

Go Listen, Then Tell Someone

Episode 120 is out now on all your favorite podcast platforms — Spotify, Apple, YouTube — take your pick. All of Tavarus’s links are in the episode show notes: his business, Vivica’s website, The Queen’s Table. Go follow him. Go see Vivica perform if you are ever in Nashville. You will not regret it!

And if this episode does something for you, please send it to one person. That is it. That is the whole ask. Just: “Hey, I think you should hear this.” That one message, one subscriber, one review, one rating is how this show grows.

So, please rate, review, subscribe, tell a friend! It would mean the world to me.

Share The Wanderer's Map

And remember — life is too chaotic, and too short, to waste it doing anything that doesn’t light you up.

I’m here to help you take your life seriously, but not yourself.

xoxo,

Amanda

If You’ve Lost Your Light, This Episode Will Help You Find It.

Amanda Powers — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 12:03:39 GMT

I Said “I Hate Myself” in an Interview.

Okay so… I have to come clean again. I completely embarrassed myself in the middle of my interview with my guest, Dani Dyer.

During my conversation with Dani — while she was in the middle of explaining why we (well, all women) need to stop talking badly about ourselves — I caught myself saying “I hate myself” out loud. On the mic. To the woman whose entire brand is built around loving your body.

I was trying to actively listen to our conversation and prepare for the next question, but when it was my turn to speak, I completely forget everything I wanted to ask. So I stumbled. TWICE.

How could I say that live… right in front of her?! She didn’t make me feel bad about it. She just smiled and said: “Now you’ll think twice next time.”

And she was right. I have been. Constantly.

That moment kind of says everything about why I wanted to have Dani on the show, and why I think you’re going to love this episode.

So Who is Dani Dyer?

Dani is a Nashville-based personal trainer, author, and host of the Love Your Body Podcast. She’s also the woman who pulled a 3,000-pound truck up Broadway, won multiple strongman competitions, and went viral on TikTok with 50 million views showing the world what her body could do.

She’s funny, she’s sharp, she shows up in booty shorts and a spray tan to competitions because she has a dance background and she owns it completely. I loved her immediately.

But here’s the thing — and this is why I think her story matters so much for this community specifically. Even with all of that? Even at her leanest, her strongest, her most decorated? She still had to fight every single day to believe she was enough. Because the body-shaming started when she was a kid. And those voices don’t just disappear because you win a competition.

Share The Wanderer's Map

External Achievement and Internal Peace are Not The Same Thing

There were a few moments in this conversation that genuinely stopped me in my tracks. This was one of them:

“I lost myself and I lost my light. I talk about that in my book a lot — it was something that was innately in me. I felt like it was from God and it was such a special, beautiful light, and I let other people dim it.”

I don’t know about you, but I felt that. Deeply. Because I think a lot of us — especially the people who find their way to this show — know exactly what it feels like to have a light that gets slowly dimmed. Not in one dramatic moment. Just gradually, over time, through years of hearing that you’re too much or not enough or wrong in some specific way that you eventually start to believe it.

Dani also talked about the women she’d see backstage at bodybuilding competitions. Women who’d worked for months, looked incredible by any standard, and were standing there crying because they didn’t win. And she said something I’ve been thinking about ever since: even being in a smaller body, you can still be completely unhappy. You can still hate the way you look. External achievement and internal peace are not the same thing. And mistaking one for the other is how we stay stuck.

(Pause: This also relates to careers, relationships, and life decisions… not just fitness. Just making sure we’re all on the same page here.)

Timeline Grief and Letting Go of Expectations

This is a crucial portion of the interview and I wish we had more time to dive deeper together.

Dani and I got into this whole conversation about what many identity crisis creators and psychologists have been calling timeline grief — that specific, horrible feeling of believing your life should have unfolded differently somehow.

That you should be further along by now.
That you’ve wasted time.
That your peers have it figured out and you’re still standing here, at whatever age you are, still not knowing what you’re doing.

Dani’s take was so good. She said timelines aren’t goals. They’re just expectations with expiration dates. For her, people assumed because she went to college, got her degree, studied functional fitness in Vermont, then moved back to the big city, and became a trainer in Williamson County, that she must be living on her own or out enjoying the Nashville scene. Instead, she was living frugally, and saving money. She didn’t feel the pressure to perform her “success” by going out every night or buying a home for the sake of buying a home before she turned 30.

She told me this story about how for years she told her clients, “I will not pay to live in Nashville,” — no plan, no timeline, just that one statement every day. And then one random afternoon she got an email from a woman she’d never met, offering her a free apartment for a year in exchange for being a brand influencer.

She almost deleted it because she thought it was spam. But that year of free housing changed her life forever. Now she owns two homes, started her own LYB Gym, and trains her dream one-on-one clients.

I think about that a lot. How the thing you’ve been saying out loud with no idea how it’ll happen is sometimes just… on its way. You just can’t see it yet.

Riding Out The Messy Middle

At the end of our conversation, I asked Dani what she’d say to someone who’s really struggling right now. Someone who looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize themselves. Someone who’s gained weight or lost it unintentionally, or had their body change in ways they can’t control, and just feels like a stranger in their own skin. She said:

“Let go of the expectation of getting back to whoever that was. Because that was pre-trauma. Pre-hormonal changes. Pre-whatever your body has been through. That’s a completely different body now. And instead of grieving the old one, start asking — what can this one do? What can we build from here?”

And then she suggested everyone who’s struggling to love themselves right now can start out with small steps — say one positive thing about yourself. It doesn’t have to be about your body. Just something true and kind. And then do it again tomorrow.

That’s it. That’s the whole practice. Start stupidly small and build from there.

You have to start speaking to yourself in the way you actually want to be spoken to. Would you say those hateful negative things to your close friends? Your loved ones? No way. So we have to stop saying it to ourselves, too.

If you want to change the narrative — and eventually change your life — you have to start with the horrible tape playing on repeat in your mind.

Thanks for reading The Wanderer's Map! Your support means the world to me. If this post resonated with you, please share it with someone who could use a companion in their self-discovery journey.

Listen Now

Episode 119 with Dani Dyer is out now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. I genuinely think this one’s going to be a favorite. It’s funny in parts, it’s raw in others, and it’s the kind of conversation that stays with you.

Spotify · Apple Podcasts · YouTube

If someone in your life needs to hear this one — forward it to them. That’s literally what Dani and I both talked about: sometimes all someone needs is one person who says hey, I saw you, and I thought of you. Be that person today.

And if you’re not already subscribed to the podcast — please do! New episodes drop weekly and every single one is built around the same mission. Helping you find your way back to yourself.

Wanderers are always welcome.

Your Body Has Been Talking. You Just Haven't Had the Right Language to Hear It.

Amanda Powers — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:16:17 GMT

The Episode I Didn't Know I Needed (But Desperately Did)

Okay, real talk, before we get into this month’s podcast episode discussion, I need to come clean.

I’ve been off my game.

When 2026 started, I had so much confidence in my recording plans, my social media marketing, the posts I wanted to share. You name it. I dreamed it.

In December 2025, I signed a…

You’re Not “Not Ready.” You’re Just Scared. (And That’s Not a Character Flaw.)

Amanda Powers — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 17:50:53 GMT

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

There’s a version of stuck that looks fine from the outside.

You’re showing up. You’re functioning. You’re doing the things.
But inside, it feels like you’re living in a waiting room—waiting for clarity, waiting for confidence, waiting for some sign that you’re allowed to start over.

If you’re in an identity crisis right now…

Why Life After Treatment Feels So Hard (and What to Do About It)

Amanda Powers — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 01:31:45 GMT

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Why Life After Treatment Feels So Hard (and What to Do About It)

There’s a part of growing up that almost no one prepares you for:

You do the hard thing.
You go to therapy. You go to rehab. You go to a program.
You “work on yourself.”

And then one day… you come home.

Same bedroom.
Same small town.
Same friends’ Instagram stories.

Join My New Subscriber Chat

Amanda Powers — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 01:50:31 GMT

Today I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: The Wanderer's Map subscriber chat.

This is a conversation space exclusively for subscribers—kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post questions and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.

Join chat

2026 Isn’t the New 2016 (But I Get Why We’re Pretending It Is)

Amanda Powers — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 16:41:06 GMT

It seems like everyone is suddenly obsessed with looking back at 2016.

We’re laughing at our outfits. We’re replaying old songs like they’re sacred texts. We’re reminiscing about the era when The Chainsmokers could soundtrack your entire personality and nobody asked you for a “hot take” before you finished your morning coffee.

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

Amanda Powers — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 22:03:08 GMT

Where I Was: “You Should Be Grateful”

For almost a decade, I lived inside a career that sounded impressive at dinner parties and slowly hollowed me out from the inside.

I worked in national security and emergency management — high stakes, long hours, endless urgency. On paper, I was doing everything “right”: good grades, stable job, respectable title, ben…

Ep. 113: 13 Psychology-Informed Questions to Give You Clarity on Purpose, Alignment, Relationships & What You Want Next

Amanda Powers — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 16:47:00 GMT

Episode 113: If you’re over New Year’s resolutions but still want a fresh start, this episode gives you a better way.

In our final episode of 2025, Amanda walks through a psychology-informed set of year-end reflection questions designed by clinical neuropsychologist, Dr. Mawal Mustafa PhD, to help you get clarity on purpose, identity, alignment, habits, gratitude, resilience, relationships, and future intentions. You’ll leave with prompts you can journal on, talk through with a friend, or use to set intentions that actually match your real life.

RESOURCES:

If you're ready to reflect on your year, start here to see the full set of questions by Dr. Mustafa.
Curious about Momentum Shake? Spend $75 and get a free variety pack!
Check out IM8 Supplements, co-founded by David Beckham

CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Don’t forget to share this show with a friend and subscribe for weekly conversations on identity, healing, purpose, and becoming your future self.

Want to share your story or ask a question for an upcoming Wanderer Wisdom episode? Email us at hello@podcastforthelost.com or send an anonymous message to ngl.link/akpowers__

Website | Podcast Instagram | Amanda’s Instagram
TikTok | YouTube | Substack

AFFILIATE LINKS:

Try Momentum Shake! → Spend $75 – get a free variety pack

MONDAY Swimwear – 20% Off

Twenty2 Nutrition – 5% Off

PTULA – $10 Off

Oner Active – $10 Off

Beis Travel Luggage – $20 Off

U BEAUTY – $25 Off

time__line - 20% Off (code POWERS)

CHAPTERS:

00:00 New Years Reflections

04:45 The Brain Coach - Dr. Nawal Mustafa

08:27 What Moments This Year Made Me Feel Most Like Myself?

10:49 How Do I Want to Live in a Way That Feels More Aligned With Who I Am Becoming?

16:02 What Did I Push Myself to Try This Year That Ended Up Being Good For Me?

19:12 Did Anything Shift in My Mindset This Year That I’m Glad About?

22:26 Which Habits or Routines Actually Supported My Wellbeing?

26:49 What Self-Care Did I Avoid, Delay, or Minimize?

29:13 Who Added Lightness or Comfort to My Life in Ways I Didn’t Expect?

32:06 What Am I Grateful For That I Might Have Taken For Granted Earlier?

34:33 When Things Got Stressful, How Did I Cope?

39:26 How Do I Want To Approach Challenges Differently or More Intentionally?

41:29 What Felt Hopeful or Discouraging About Looking For Love?

46:50 Who Did I Feel Most Like Myself Around?

49:07 What Do I Want To Leave Behind Because It No Longer Fits Who I Am?

Ep. 112: Life Never Waits Until You're Ready

Amanda Powers — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 22:00:00 GMT

Episode 112: Life won’t pause until you feel ready—because “ready” is a choice. In this solo episode, Amanda reflects on aging family, caregiving, regret, and the wake-up call that time keeps moving—so you might as well live your life with purpose.

Amanda shares what the 2025 season has taught her about family dynamics, caregiving, aging, and the perspec…

Ep. 111: How Trauma Shapes Your Identity, Purpose & Capacity for Abundance | Michelle Jeovanny

Amanda Powers — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Episode 111: What if the hardest chapters of your life were the initiation — not the punishment?

In this deeply moving episode of The Lost & Found Podcast, Amanda Powers is joined by Michelle Jeovanny, a spiritual life coach and entrepreneur who has transformed profound trauma into purpose, freedom, and abundance. Michelle shares her journey from escapin…

Ep. 110: How to Fix Yourself From the Inside Out | Faust Ruggiero

Amanda Powers — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 18:10:31 GMT

Episode 110: Feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you’ve tried everything and nothing actually changes?

In this episode of The Lost & Found Podcast, Amanda sits down with therapist and award-winning author Faust Ruggiero, creator of The Process Way of Life and the Fix Yourself Empowerment Series, to talk about how real change starts from the inside out.

Faus…

Ep. 109: How to Rewrite Your Life After Losing Everything | Jason Ferguson

Amanda Powers — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Episode 109: What if the moment you thought ruined your life… was the moment that saved it?

In today’s episode, Amanda sits down with Jason Ferguson — a former D1 athlete, sales leader, speaker, author of Nobody’s Legend, and the creator of the R.A.M.P. framework (Radical Accountability, Authenticity, Mission-Driven Habits, and Pathological Optimism).

Jas…

Ep. 108: How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence & Unlock True Success | Randy Lyman

Amanda Powers — Wed, 05 Nov 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Episode 108: What if the key to your success isn’t found in what you do, but in how deeply you feel?

In this week’s episode of The Lost & Found Podcast, Amanda Powers sits down with Randy Lyman, a physicist, entrepreneur, and the author of The Third Element: The Missing Key to Activating the Law of Attraction, which reveals the missing link in manifestat…

Ep. 107: How to Become Bulletproof to Failure & Find Your Purpose | Katie Hoff

Amanda Powers — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 10:34:00 GMT

Episode 107: What happens to athletes when the cheering stops?

Two-time Olympian, three-time Olympic medalist, and eight-time World Champion Katie Hoff joins The Lost & Found Podcast with Amanda Powers to talk about the highs of Olympic glory, the lows of identity loss, and the radical honesty it takes to rebuild your life after the shine of winning meda…

Ep. 106: How to Find Your Voice & Turn Insecurity Into Authentic Confidence | Jason Catron

Amanda Powers — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Episode 106: In this week's episode of The Lost & Found Podcast, Amanda sits down with Jason Catron, a singer, creative entrepreneur, and founder of The Vocal Lab Collective. In this conversation, we dive into reinvention, purpose, and sustainable creative growth—how to keep creating when the applause fades, how to redefine success beyond external valid…

Ep. 105: How to Live a Fulfilled Life (Even When You Feel Lost)

Amanda Powers — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 15:45:50 GMT

Episode 105: We've made it to the Second Anniversary of The Lost & Found Podcast with Amanda Powers! In this special two-year anniversary episode, Amanda reflects on the wild, beautiful, and brutally honest journey that led her here.

From hitting emotional rock bottom after leaving a decade-long career in national security to rediscovering her creativity…

Ep. 104: Healing After Divorce & Rediscovering Yourself | Molly Rubesh

Amanda Powers — Mon, 06 Oct 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Episode 104: Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage — it can feel like it ends your sense of self.

In this deeply personal and empowering episode, Amanda Powers sits down with Molly Rubesh, certified life coach and author, to talk about the reality of healing after heartbreak and what it takes to rebuild a life that feels like yours again.

Molly shares the l…

Ep. 103: How To Find The Courage To Start Over | Brandi Norris

Amanda Powers — Sun, 28 Sep 2025 09:02:00 GMT

Episode 103: Brandi Norris has lived many lives: accountant, single mom, student, creative, wife, and now Airbnb host and user experience designer. Her personal and professional journeys are proof that reinvention is always possible—and that keeping the right people around you can change everything.

In this heartfelt conversation, Brandi shares how early…

Ep. 102: How to Find Your Creativity & Reclaim Your Identity | Pia Leichter

Amanda Powers — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 15:12:35 GMT

Episode 102: Creativity isn’t just for the chosen few—it’s for all of us.

In this episode of The Lost & Found Podcast, Amanda sits down with Pia Mailhot-Leichter—author of Welcome to the Creative Club, creative mentor, and founder of Kollektiv Studio. Pia’s story is one of reinvention: from advertising creative director to author and coach, where she lea…